| Regardless of What You Think... |
[11 Nov 2008|09:10am] |
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mood |
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 cold |
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I actually censor how I feel, what I do and what I say.
Just imagine if I did not limit my emotions to happiness and anger.
Was spontaneous and carefree.
And said exactly what I thought.
I doubt I would have any friends or family.
Sometimes it feels like I don't anyways.
I keep a lot of things to myself.
I cannot fathom saying what I actually feel.
I live in fear that I am a hateful, bad person.
That I can lose everything in one breathe.
That I will disappoint everyone who cares.
Then there are the ones that I couldn't give two shits about.
I don't know if I care how they feel about me
Or how they think about me
I'm not scared of them yelling at me
I am not that weak hearted. I'll yell back.
Its the fact that somebody can find me hateful.
I'm not that way or at least I try not to be.
But deep down inside I just want to be honest.
Just say "Fuck it. Fuck you. And get the fuck out of my life."
I bet I would be so much happier.
But that brings me back to why I don't.
I care too much. {sighs}
And I can honestly say I don't know why.
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| My Obsessions |
[16 Jul 2008|04:19pm] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
] |
I simply adore the following things I've been blessed to find joy in:
Mi familia. My doggies. Flip flops. Plumerias. Cherry blossoms. Photography. Pottery. Being creative. Polka dots. The color turquoise. Making lists. Popcorn at the movie theater. Dvd Tuesdays. Bamboo. Cake decorating. Ace of Cakes. The Crafty Chica. Romanatic Comedies. Chic Lit. Nissan Altima. Jeep Liberty. The United States of America. Brown skin. My handwriting. Chocolate. Blogging. Myspace. My friends. Investigative & reality television. Journals. Pay day (not the candy bar). Savings for my future. My duku. Pedicures. Being pampered. Cancer (my sign). July 14th (my birthday). Halloween. Thanksgiving. Family reunions. Bath & Body Work's Gentle Foaming Hand Soap Coconut Lime Verbena. Anything island inspired. Homemade jewelry. Plush socks. Charmed. And the list goes on...
I am in the process of putting together a "bliss book". I first read of what a bliss book from the very talented & beautiful Kathy Cano-Murillo b/k/a the Crafty Chica. I thought it was a fantastic idea so I decided to write down everything I adore in this world on here so I won't forget. Also I thought maybe you guys would like to start a "bliss book" yourself.
Basically a bliss book is a regular notebook or journal that literally illustrates what makes you happy. A bit of scrapbooking w/ a LOT of creativity. I am have a blast constructing mine. Hopefully I will remember to post my end result.
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| I Love You Too. |
[31 Mar 2008|09:43am] |
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mood |
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accomplished |
] |
If you don't like how I live, keep that shit to yourself.
Go fuck yourself & have a fantastic life.
I never asked you for anything.
For as long as I have been alive, I have never needed you.
You hate me and I could care less.
You criticize how I live and I find it funny
That you took the time out of your schedule to talk about me.
The only reason I gave this a thought is because Krys mentioned it in passing.
She tried to skirt over the comment
But I looked at her and told her I don't give a shit.
They never liked me & I have been fine w/ that for years.
I told her I don't need their approval.
I don't even need them to like me.
Wouldn't they rather me fail?
Wouldn't they rather me be miserable?
Whatever the case may be, I am amused and rather touched.
At least somebody other than "Him" thinks of me.
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| My Favorite Teacher |
[11 May 2006|01:51pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
] |
Krys came to me yesterday and showed me her school newspaper. It said that my favorite high school teacher is leaving. He will be moving to GA to coach in a high school up there. My heart sank to my feet. Coach Springer doesn't even know how much he has influenced my life. Coach Springer may not remember me but I sure do remember him. When I was going through personal problems I confided in him. He helped me straighten out quicker than I would have. Even though I haven't spoken to him since my sister's Freshmen year, I can honestly say I will miss him. Its only proper to end this journal entry w/ one of Coach Springer's memorable quotes.
"If you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail." - F. Springer
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| Valentine's Day Poems |
[11 Feb 2006|11:18am] |
| [ |
mood |
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cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Break Out! - Sean Paul |
] |
I couldn't help myself.
I recieved this in an email and damn near choked on my tea.
[b]"Valentines Poems"[/b]
Roses are stupid,
Violets are silly.
Bend over Babe,
'Cause here comes my willy!
Roses are red,pickles are green
I love your legs and whats between
I like your style I like your class
But most of all I like your ass
Hearts and roses and kisses galore...
What the hell is all that shit for?
People get mushy and start acting queer
It is definitely the most annoying day of the year.
This day needs to get the hell over with and pass
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass
I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak
And wear all black for the rest of the week
Guys act all sweet,but it soon will fade
For all they are doing is trying to get laid
The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit
Because I think love is a crock of shit
So heres my story...what else can I say?
Love bites my ass...Fuck Valentines Day!
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| HAPPY FREAKIN NEW YEAR! |
[01 Jan 2006|05:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 giddy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Your Body - Pretty Ricky |
] |
Happy New Year Everybody!
I might have brought in the New Year alone [again]
But this year I was out partying and having a FAB time.
Dinner [micky d's] and a movie [the family stone]
I went to Spinnaker [local club] and it was awesome.
Made a new friend [gail]
Formed a tighter bond w/ another [suzie]
I wanted to bring in the new year w/ something so unJUDYlike
So I went out. Had fun. Was not self conscience.
I really think this year will be better.
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| In A Chicken Factory |
[14 Sep 2005|06:03pm] |
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mood |
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 energetic |
] |
This guy has no clue...
He startled me at first.
Then I just started laughing my ass off.
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| Pet & Visitors Etiquette |
[23 Aug 2005|05:13pm] |
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mood |
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 high |
] |
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music |
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An Paistin Fionn - Niamh Parsons |
] |
I doubt I'll ever have children.
I've accepted this a long time ago (a year or so ago)
But I do know I will have pets.
I love my parents dogs.
One is harder to love just because she doesn't seem to care. *laughs*
She bogarts her way on, in, around and over EVERYTHING.
But gotta love her. She listens most the time.
I was reading through a forum and came across a joke.
I thought I'd share it because it made me laugh.
I am a very cheerful mood.
Don't get used to it because from what I heard I'm a bitch.
Which I think is a bucket of shit.
Just because I find certain things entertaining doesn't mean I'm a bitch.
A bit sadistic but not a bitch. 
( Pet & Visitors Etiquette )
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[06 Aug 2005|03:19am] |
| [ |
mood |
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chipper |
] |
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music |
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Pon De Replay - Rihanna |
] |
Click
Don't you feel like one sometimes?
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| Eraser. |
[28 Jul 2005|09:36am] |
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mood |
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 ditzy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Trouble - Pink |
] |
I write so many entries and then erase them.
Kind of scared of what people might say.
How they will react and later treat me.
Some of my entries have been private.
Wrote for only my eyes to see.
Even those get erased because I'm embarassed of what I wrote.
Some thoughts I wish I never had.
Others I'm scared I even have them but deep down inside,
They make me laugh.
And not in the happy go lucky type of laugh.
I do not have the slightest idea why.
That really does scare me at times.
( My Future )
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| Never Needing To Explain. |
[27 Jul 2005|10:21pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
] |
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music |
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Jaded - Aerosmith |
] |
Its funny how people are quick to laugh.
Point out all my mistakes.
But fail to realize their own.
How sad for an individual to school another on independance.
Yet isn't too proud to demand for things that aren't theirs.
How they are condescending on people that are spoiled.
Yet want to have that same priviledge to be spoiled.
Hating everything that I am or who I am to others.
I never asked for any judgment.
I never feel the need to explain myself.
Not to you. Not to anyone.
Yet you come here demanding I do. *laughs*
Don't validate your life by berating mine.
You make yourself look pathetic.
Sad thing is that I always say
"I wish something good will happen to [insert name]"
And all this while I'm praying for your well being.
And you are praying for my demise.
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| Tuesday Twosome |
[26 Jul 2005|01:00pm] |
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mood |
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 hot |
] |
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music |
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Hey Mickey - Toni Basil |
] |
1. What are your two main sources for news? (TV, cable, internet, etc.)
CNN.com on the internet and NPR on the radio.
2. While in the car, do you prefer music or talk radio? Why?
In the morning I like NPR news because I am not in the mood to hear anything loud.
At night I like music more because... I just do.
3. More annoying: commercials or "witty banter" between DJs? Why?
Witty banter between DJs. They are supposed to DJ not bore me to death w/ their personal lives.
I find commercials more entertaining than most television shows so they don't annoy me.
4. More useful in the morning: Weather forecast or traffic reports? Why?
The weather forecast is more useful because my whole outfit is determined if it is hot or cold.
There is hardly any traffic on this side of the bridge so that really isn't a problem.
5. What two things cause you to get angry while driving? Explain.
People that cut me off and slow down when they get into the lane I am in. I get angry for obvious reasons.
People on their cellphones driving one handed. I almost got into an accident w/ a lady doing that. Another time I got side swiped and ended up in a neighbors front lawn. Shit like that shouldn't happen. Don't cellphones come w/ ear pieces?
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| Doing The Cabbage Patch |
[14 Jul 2005|09:08am] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
] |
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music |
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Playground - A.nother B.ad C.reation |
] |
HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY TO ME!
*does the cabbage patch*
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| Usu Come Home... |
[04 Jul 2005|04:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Switch - Will Smith |
] |
Friday night Grandma & Grandpa came up to spend 4th of July weekend w/ us. It was totally unexpected to me. Well let me take that back, we didn't plan anything for this 4th of July. Mom called up Grandma and they talked about how they had nothing to do.So that's how the visit was initiated.I'm glad because I was wondering what I was going to do this weekend. Their visit was bitter sweet.
 Usu hasn't been feeling well for about 2 days before they came. Saturday Mom & Grandpa took her to the vet. Usu had to have an emergency opperation. We were supposed to go see Liz at work but everybody was a bit down. She came home on Sunday at 10 a.m. She looked great even though her tummy was shaved and she had some stitches. I'm just glad she is back home. She acts like she never had surgery. Laying on Daddy's recliner as usual. *laughs* Just snoring away and laying on her back. We'll have to take her back in 10 days to get the stitches taken out.
Happy 4th of July everybody!
Remember, 10 more days til my 25th birthday.
Yeah, I'm an old lady. *laughs*
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| My Time Line |
[06 May 2005|03:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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mellow |
] |
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music |
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How Will I Know - Whitney Houston |
] |
I borrowed this time line from Kristal.
A Time line
20 years ago-
1. I was four years old.
2. I was in Pre-K at Germantown Elementary.
3. I learned how to ride a 2 wheel bike w/out training wheels.
10 Years ago-
1. I was a sophmore in high school.
2. I was a bad girl (got suspended 4 times)
3. Didn't pass the 10th grade English (and almost didn't graduate).
5 Years ago-
1. I living in Maryland.
2. I got married.
3. I dropped out of college.
3 Years ago-
1. I quit my job.
2. My best friend & I had a falling out.
3. Went into deep depression.
1 Year ago-
1. Started my 5 week interning at the school and 2 businesses.
2. Half way through my tech. program.
3. Designed my first website for money ($35.00)
Yesterday I-
1. Studied for two tests on the digestive and endocrine systems.
2. Felt soar from all the coughing.
3. Watched Crossing Jordan w/ my mom until 3 a.m.
Today I...
1. Took two tests on the digestive and endocrine systems (got a 80 and 74)
2. Had lunch w/ my mom & sister.
3. Did some laundry.
Tommorrow I will...
1. Go to the BX.
2. Go to the library.
3. Wash the car.
In The Next Year I Will..
1. Have a job.
2. Go back to college.
3. See all my family for the family reunion.
What is your timeline??
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| Checklist |
[24 Apr 2005|09:57pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Bye Bye Birdie - Krys singing |
] |
I was surfing the net and got a bit bored after studying for like a hour and taping Krys. I stumbled across this at her website. Thought I'd give it a go.
I HAVE:
(x) smoked weed
(x) smoked a cigarette
(x) smoked a cigar
( ) madeout with a member of the same sex
( ) crashed a friend’s car
( ) stolen a car
(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
(x) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out of your parent’s house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back
( ) been arrested
(x) made out with a stranger
(x) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) had a crush on a teacher
( ) been to Europe
(x) skipped school
(x) slept with a co-worker
( ) seen someone die
( ) been to Canada
(x) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) thrown up in a bar
( ) purposely set a part of myself on fire
(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
(x) met someone in person from the internet
(x) been moshing at a concert
(x) had real feelings for someone you knew only online (I cared but I don't think I loved anyone)
(x) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel
(x) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledding
( ) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
(x) used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
(x) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
(x) petted a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
(x) ran a red light
(x) been suspended from school
(x) been in a car accident
( ) had braces
(x) felt like an outcast
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
( ) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
( ) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
( ) played cops and robbers
( ) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
( ) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn’t
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey
(x) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed penis in class
( ) ate dog/cat food
(x) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
( ) have a little black dress
(x) had a dream that you married someone
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
( ) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didnt take a shower for a week
( ) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies
(x) believe in ghosts
(x) have had more then 30 pairs of shoes
(x) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
( ) gone streaking
(x) gone skinny dipping
(x) played ding-dong-ditch
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) have a Britney Spears CD
(x) forgotten someones name
(x) slept naked
( ) French braided someones hair
Okay that's done. I swear I've done a lot of crap.
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| Foxx, Freeman, & Eastwood |
[28 Feb 2005|01:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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restless |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Numb / Encore - Jay Z & Linkin Park |
] |
Congratulations to Jamie Foxx for winning Best Actor at the 77th Annual Academy Awards Ceremony
(in my most humble opinion I think Jamie Foxx truly deserved that award. I've seen and own the movie and that is most def. one of his best performances)
And another congratulations to Morgan Freeman for winning Best Supporting Actor for his role in "Million Dollar Baby"
(never seen it but I heard it was great. might have to get that when it comes out to appreciate it more)
Did you see Clint Eastwood coming out of this thing like a bandit? Well he did.
"Backstage at the Academy Awards, Clint Eastwood contemplated how deserving he was to come away with his second best-picture and directing triumph, this time for the boxing tale "Million Dollar Baby." "There's a lot of great movies that have won the Academy Award, and a lot of great movies that haven't," said Eastwood"
( Read more... )
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ms_jukie's journal
curious
Yesterday my beautiful 9 year old Copper was put to rest. The vet concluded that he indeed had a tumor. My mom didn't want them to do any test because Copper was already stuffering. I don't think I ever thought he'd go. I know that's immature and unrealistic but that's just the way I am w/ the ones I love. Well maybe I should say I didn't think he'd go, more like not any time soon. But he hasn't been the same since the seizures. A week before he was okay. He was walking around, growling at Raven, singing w/ me...All that. Then Wednesday came and he refused to move unless to go outside or eat. Come Friday he was wondering around very uncomfortable. Saturday was the day Mom decided it was time to put him to sleep. He wasn't responding anymore. Monday I kissed him good-bye and I told him I loved him.